Just What He Thinks
by The Devils Song
Summary: Kyoya is the kind of drunk who tells everyone what he thinks of them. He learnt that the hard way, much to the amusement of the Host Club. "I've decided! From now on, I'm bisexual!"


Just What He Thinks

* * *

"_I think Kyoya would be the type of drunk who just says what he thinks of everyone_."

~J. Michael Tatum

* * *

Pour. Drink. _Clunk_.

Pour. Drink. _Clunk_.

Pour . . . Wait. Why wasn't it pouring anymore?

"More," he managed to mutter.

Haruhi sighed, shaking her head. "No more, Kyoya," she said, waving the bartender away. "You've had too much."

Kyoya's head shot up and he stared straight into Haruhi's eyes. When did she get four of them? "For your information, I may be intoxicated but I am completely able to cut myself off when I've had 'too much', Haruhi."

Okay, so at first he didn't know he was drinking. The liquid was clear and he was much too distracted to focus on the taste or smell of it. After about the fourth shot he had begun to realise his throat was burning. After the fifth, he confirmed it was certainly _not _water that he was drinking. After the sixth . . . Well, it all went downhill from there.

Why he was so distracted was beyond his drunken mind's memory, and he found this new carefree feeling to be quite refreshing so, in the words of the commoners, what the heck! He might as well.

"You know, Haruhi," he started, with only a slight slur. "I really admire your determination. Your very dense, though, and I'm not sure if I like that in a woman." He called over the bartender, and Haruhi allowed him to drink one more shot as she felt the conversation was bound to get interesting. "I'm not even sure if I like women. I think I like both." Yes, _very _interesting.

Haruhi suppressed a smile. "Really? And why do you think that?"

"You're quite beautiful, you know," he said, completely off topic. Kyoya reached out to put a hand on her pale face. "I guess it wouldn't matter if I liked men or women if I fell for you, huh? You're so androgynous. No one could tell the difference! Especially with that flat chest of yours."

His eyes narrowed, inspecting her carefully and wobbling slightly in his seat. "You'd be prettier with golden eyes . . . Oh, how I love golden eyes. Or maybe violet."

At that moment, two violet eyes and a blonde head popped into view. "Kyoya! I've been looking for you everywhere."

Kyoya smiled drunkenly and poked Tamaki between his eyes. "Speaking of violet eyes. Yours are so pretty," he mumbled, then turned to take another shot.

Haruhi and Tamaki shared a look of silent laughter, which then increased as Kyoya shot out of his chair triumphantly, stumbling only a little. "I've decided! From now on, I'm bisexual!"

Of course, it was at the exact moment the twins arrived and snaked their arms around the now laughing Kyoya. "Well, well, well. What's going on here? Looks like fun," drawled Hikaru, a mischievous smile on his lips.

"The Shadow King drunk . . . I never thought I'd see the day," continued Kaoru with a smile identical to his brother's.

Kyoya looked between both of them in a confused way before a huge grin spread across his face. "So many golden eyes! Beautiful! But oh, it's you twins . . . " He trailed off, disappointed. "You know, your whole brotherly love act is really hard for me to watch. It gives me too many fantasies. You should stop that. But you can still keep your shirts off. I like that."

At this point, the twins were rolling on the floor and pounding it as they laughed. "This is priceless!" They declared simultaneously.

The world suddenly tilted as Kyoya found himself lifted into the air, something hard digging into his shoulder. "Home," a deep voice stated.

"Mori-senpai! I can walk!" Kyoya argued, but the senior continued towards the doors without a word. "You know, Mori, I always liked your voice. I can hear it better when I'm on your shoulder. But now I can't see your long legs . . . I like them, too."

A childish giggle caught his attention. "Kyo-chan is a perverted drunk, huh?" Another giggle and Kyoya confirmed that it was Honey-senpai speaking.

"Perverted? Oh, heavens no, senpai! I'm only saying just what I think."

Mori laid him down in the back of the limo as the rest of the club piled in. Tamaki took his jacket off and placed it over Kyoya's shivering torso.

"Thanks, Tamaki. You really are . . . " He yawned. "My best friend."

Before Tamaki could reply with an ecstatic 'thank you, mon ami!', Kyoya was already passed out and sucking his thumb underneath the jacket.

"You know, senpai," Haruhi started, "I'm not really shocked about the type of drunk Kyoya-senpai is, but whoever thought you'd be a calm drunk?"

Tamaki laughed as the limo began driving away. "I didn't know myself!"

* * *

Throb.

Throb. Throb.

That insufferable pounding! Hangovers shouldn't affect Ootori men! It's just not right.

Warning tape was put all around the youngest son's room as a frustrated roar echoed through the house. He remembered everything now. Oh yes, he remembered _everything_. From his drunken ramblings to the people responsible in the first place.

"Hikaru! Kaoru! I'm going to kill you both for getting me drunk!"

And somewhere in the distance, two red-headed twins sneezed.

* * *

A/N: So, yes, for those who read the quote are fans, this was based off of something J. Michael Tatum (Kyoya's voice actor) said during a panel. The beautiful eyes and sucking thumb thing also comes from what he said. After seeing that a while ago, I wondered why I could only find one story based off of it. He was basically handing out fanfiction ideas! So yes, here it is. Kyoya Ootori, The Shadow King, drunk.

DISCLAIMED: I own none of the copyright material mentioned, nor do I own J. Michael Tatum's idea of a drunk Kyoya.


End file.
